The Scopes Sock Monkey Trial: An Evolution of Sorts

The evolved Sock Monkey

Well, last week’s Merry Christmas, “One Love: Peace on Earth” post went over like a lead balloon. Sock monkey, anyone?

Monkey See, Monkey Do

I generally make stuff for Christmas, simply because I like to. This year, it’s been a necessity. Top on my list was to fill a request for a sock monkey — maybe two. I’d never made a sock monkey before, although it’s been on my bucket list for years.  Now that I’m on the other side, so to speak, I can authoritatively advise on the pitfalls of the process, so that other first-timers may be spared some of the frustrations I experienced along the way.

Here, I can also advise on the elusive sock spider. Why the sock spider? I decided, after finishing the sock monkey, that I was too monkeyed-out to make another. It would have been like watching paint dry. Besides, the intended recipient of sock monkey #2 is really a spider lover, having recently read Charlotte’s Web and also having spent the month of September watching the fantastical black & yellow orb weaver outside the kitchen window, who spent those last dwindling days of summer alternately snaring and spindling hapless victims, then repairing her torn web before ultimately going the way of Charlotte, leaving behind a perfect egg sac, brimming with possibility.

The evolved Sock Spider

Problem was, I couldn’t find a decent spider on the web (pun intended), so I had to proceed, sans a grand design, and instead allow her to evolve as she would. And she did. But first, the pitfalls of the sock monkey:

SOCK MONKEY PITFALL #1: The socks, themselves. Like everything else, they’ve obviously fallen prey to stinginess, growing smaller and thinner over the years. I used the prescribed U.S.A-made Fox River “size large” red-heeled pair of socks to make mine.  In hindight, I’d go for an extra large, unless you want to end up with arms and legs the diameter of pencils. The knit fabric, too, is thinner than in the days of yore. Nothing to be done about that.

SOCK MONKEY PITFALL #2: The instructions. Wow. The instruction sheet that accompanies the socks is entirely different from the instructions in the booklet I ordered, even as both are distributed by Fox River Mills. (By the way, the booklet, which contains myriad sock projects for animals, dolls and clothing & accessories for your sock creations, is available for only $5 at the Fox River Mills website). Assuming both instructions were the same, I followed the ones in my nifty new booklet. In hindsight, I wish I’d referred back and forth between the sheet and the booklet. While this wouldn’t have entirely alleviated the confusion, it would have given me a clearer idea of what I was aiming for. While I loved  the simplicity and “vintageness” of the Fox River Mills instructions, this got old at about Step 5 in the booklet (see pitfall #3 below) . For best results, sew the monkey body via the instruction sheet that comes with the socks.

SOCK MONKEY PITFALL #3: The neck and head. In step #5 in the booklet, you are instructed:

“To shape the head, tie loosely at neck with ribbon. For a more floppy head, tie ribbon tighter.”

Aside from the booklet’s accompanying line illustration, which bears no resemblance to the stuffed sock in your hand, there’s no hint as to the location of said neck. Where to tie the ribbon? Don’t bother referring to the bona fide photograph of an authentic sock monkey on the front of the instruction booklet for help, because this sock monkey was not cut from the same cloth as yours. And there’s virtually no mention on the instruction sheet for tying off the head. How many inches from the top the “head”? I gambled and tied off the neck to make a head just under 5″ tall, which made for an oblong head, nothing like the cute round ones in the instructions. In the end, this worked out fine. I used thin elastic, tied with a knot. I didn’t add the spiffy red ribbon and bow tie until the monkey was finished. In fact, this was my very last step.

SOCK MONKEY PITFALL #4: The tail and arms. The instructions for the tail and arms are vastly different between the booklet and sheet. Following the booklet instructions will yield skinny arms and a really long, skinny tail (like the ones in my photo). Following the instruction sheet, however, will yield fatter arms and a short, but fatter tail.  While neither of the instructions advise you to sew the wrong sides together, then turn the arms/tail right-side before stuffing, you need to do this.  Regarding the turning of the arms/tail, I can tell you from experience that turning pencil thin body parts right-side out, then stuffing them, is no picnic. The stuffing (I used organic cotton fiber) balls up, because you can only feed tiny amounts at a time into the tiny opening. By the time they reach the end of the tail/arms, the fiber has been transformed into tiny ball, resembling a snake that just feasted on bucket of ping pong balls. (You can see this in my monkey’s arm on the right side of the photo). Maybe this works better with polyfiber fill.

SOCK MONKEY PITFALL #5: The feet. The instruction sheet makes no mention of bending and sewing the bottoms of the legs into L-shaped feet. The booklet recommends this, which is a nice touch. But don’t fret too much if your feet look more like hockey sticks than an L.  I think this is the best you can hope for, and it looks just fine.

SOCK MONKEY PITFALL #6: The cap. The instruction sheet leaves you no option but to buy a 3rd sock to make a hat, whereas the instruction booklet provides a hat from the same sock you use to cut out the tail and arms (hence the varying tail/arm proportions as described in Pitfall #4). Me, I like the idea of making the entire monkey from one pair of socks. Isn’t that the whole point? Isn’t that part of the charm?

Next, the Sock Spider

In the beginning, my idea was to make a spider, but since I couldn’t find a decent pattern anywhere on the internet (and since there wasn’t one in the official Fox River Mills booklet, as I had hoped there would be) I resigned myself to making two monkeys. But after so much trial and error on monkey # 1, I wondered: Could designing a spider from scratch be any more difficult?

So I made my own, sans even a pretense of a pattern,allowing her to emerge from a series of trials and errors, not unlike the monkey. This was particularly difficult, since I couldn’t even find a decent photo of a stuffed spider to work from. It was pure trial and error. Along the way, I fell in love.

For the most part, except for the mouth (which can look either adorable or scary, depending on the angle), I am 100% pleased with her. Her legs are bendable, via the wizardry of pipe-cleaners, which means she can be arranged in myriad endearing poses, yet with no sacrifice to her huggability.  My favorite is the hand under the chin, as seen in the photo above.

If I had it to do over again, I’d do nothing different, except make the shape of her head less wonky and slightly alter the shape of her mouth.

I’ll never make another, but if you’re interested in knowing how to make a sock spider like this, let me know and, come January, I’ll do my best to reconstruct the steps to making this spider and will post if for you. Just let me know. Otherwise, I’ll strike this project from my bucket list.

For now, Merry Christmas and Solh e jahaani and spiders and monkeys, too.

And to all a good night....