FOREIGN POLICY ALERT: Sarah Palin’s Dance Card is Filling Up!
The society pages are all abuzz with the announcement of Sarah Palin’s impending debut into the glamorous world of foreign policy. According to today’s edition of Pakistan’s Daily Times, Sarah Palin will be two-stepping with several world leaders this week, including Presidents George W. Bush, Asif Ali Zardari and Hamid Karzai (of the U.S., Pakistan and Afghanistan, respectively), along with other as-yet-unnamed dignitaries at the United Nations General Assembly. (note: see 9/23 update, below!) We will surely hear more of this in the days to come and look forward to hearing Sarah’s Palin’s tall tales on the series of secret U.S. missile attacks and the U.S.-led cross-border ground assault in Pakistan’s Tribal areas, as well any statements she may make in the fashion world. (What will she wear? And where ever did she get that fabulous polar bear lapel pin? It’s simply to die for!)
On a more serious note, we continue to be concerned that, with Sarah’s busy schedule these days, she’ll hardly have time to rehearse for her upcoming debate with Joe Biden. From what we understand, the Cliff Notes on this meeting are a real bear. We trust that the moderators will be kind to Sarah, showing her the proper deference and, perhaps, offering some gentle, behind-the-scenes coaching beforehand, as it would hardly be fair to expect Sarah to be as knowledgeable as a man who has, for goodness sakes, spent the past 3 decades meeting with foreign dignitaries and serving as a statured leader and advisor in American foreign policy.
We are also concerned that some might accuse Sarah of being “presumptious,” by acting in a “presidential capacity,” in Friday’s meetings, as they fall on the heels of Barack Obama’s “presidential-style world tour, during which foreign leaders and American generals lined up to show him affection.” While Obama was most assuredly being presumptuous (our sincere thanks to John McCain for kindly pointing this out to us), it is an entirely different matter with Sarah. To those who would seek to paint Sarah with the same brush as Obama, we must insist: It’s not the same thing. It’s just not the same at all. We can’t be any plainer than that. We trust that clear heads will prevail.
9/23/2008 UPDATE! More names on Sarah’s Dance Card! Word has it that Sarah aspires to condense a 30-year whirlwind world tour into a mere 3 days. At this rate, she’ll need a new dance card! We have no doubt that, by week’s end, she will be ready to knock America’s socks off with her charm and her sound grasp of world events!
by Mantis Katz for the canarypapers