Sarah’s Job Description for Vice-President, Part II (Checkpoint Chickie Rides Again)

with 2 comments

In my August 30th post, where I first described, for the sole benefit of Sarah Palin, the job description for the Vice-President of the United States, I told her, “While there is no precedent in modern U.S. history for a person of your credentials serving as Vice President, it is theoretically possible for a third-grader to perform the actual duties of Vice-President. Your lack of education and/or experience with constitutional law shouldn’t be much of an impediment to serving, so long as the President doesn’t die or resign.” 

I was wrong. Either she never bothered to read the job description, or she simply didn’t comprehend it. Either way, it turns out that Sarah Palin’s lack of education and/or experience does present a serious impediment to the job for which she is applying. And  you’d have to be a simpleton, a die-hard racist, or the most tenacious of Republicans to have not realized this by now.


For those who missed it, here is Sarah Palin’s answer to second-grader, Brandon Garcia, who asked “What does the Vice-President do?”

[T]hey’re in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom.


Here again — for your edification, Sarah Palin — are the job duties for the Vice-President as specified in the U.S. Constitution. I’ve taken the liberty of translating the legal gobbledygook into terms so simple that even a third grader could understand them.  This way, if you’re ever again confronted with another of those third-grade “gotcha” questions, you can answer without fear of sounding inordinately ignorant and thereby causing the rest of us to keel in horror and/or fits of maniacal laughter. 


THE GOBBLEDYGOOK: In case of the removal of the President from office or of his death or resignation, the Vice President shall become President. (25th Amendment, clarifying Article II, Section 1)

TRANSLATION: If John McCain died, resigned or was impeached, you’d become President.

THE GOBBLEDYGOOK: The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no vote, unless they be equally divided. (Article I, Section 3)

TRANSLATION: While your official title is “President of the Senate,” you would actually have no power whatsoever in the Senate except to cast a tie-breaking vote, in the event of a deadlock.

THE GOBBLEDYGOOK: The President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the certificates, and the votes shall then be counted. The person having the greatest number of votes shall be the President…. (Article II, Section 1)

TRANSLATION: On January 7, 2013, in front of the Senate and House of Representatives, you would open the sealed, certified tallies of electoral ballots (cast the previous November for president/vice president) so that the total votes could be officially counted. 



The $150 million dollars that Barack Obama’s campaign received during the month of September is not evidence of some secret al Qaeda terrorist plot to elect Obama, but is what you might call a preponderance of tangible evidence that there are millions of U.S. citizens out here who are scared shitless over the uniquely dangerous combination of, uh, qualifications shared by both John McCain and Sarah Palin. These donations can also be interpreted as an outright rejection of the lying, the cheating and the hatemongering vitriol of your campaign.   

Here I could almost wish that there were… I don’t know…. a Congressional bill of some sort that would bar presidential or vice-presidential candidates and other leaders from, say,  “adopting or promoting an extremist belief system for the purpose of facilitating ideologically based violence to advance political, religious, or social change.”


But wait. Such a bill* already exists, having been passed one year ago this week, designed to interface with all the other laws passed over the past 8 years to address “homegrown terrorists.” Of course, these laws don’t apply to leaders who might abuse and exploit their powers to terrorize the citizens of this country. No, they apply only to the citizens would protest (or even think about protesting) against such laws and such leaders.  Lucky for us, these particular laws are being overseen by Attorney General Michael Mukasey**, the same Bush-Cheney henchman who the Obama campaign recently wrote, requesting an investigation into the voter fraud campaign being conducted by the Bush Administration and the Republican Party to steal the votes from Democrats who would vote for Barack Obama.
In this light, the only hope for this country is that Obama will be elected by such a overwhelming landslide that, for the first time in 8 years, all the cheating, lying and dirty tricks in the world won’t be enough for the Bush-Cheney gang to again subvert that very democratic process that has sustained this country for over two centuries — ever since our forefathers authored our now-ravaged Constitution and Bill of Rights, those very documents that are apparently of so little importance to Vice-Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, that she has yet to even bother reading them. 
by Mantis Katz for the canarypapers
** For more info on Mukasey, simply google “Bush Cheney Mukasey” and you”ll find a wide and well-marked trail of sourced detailing the cover-ups, legal sleights-of-hand, cronyism and other abuses of power committed by the Bush-Cheney-Mukasey gang.

2 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. I don’t know if you’re in the habit of checking out Glenn Greenwald’s column, but he has an interesting one today, “What Is Happening to GOP Electoral Tactics?” ( that offers the sublimely optimistic view that finally, finally, all the nastiness has backfired, and that Americans are suddenly full of common sense again, and…and, I don’t know, now that we know what’s good for us, we’ll never vote Republican again? Something like that. The sort of thing that makes my own optimism seem like grimmest despair. Your remarks about being “scared shitless,” above, and your final paragraph, especially “…the only hope for this country is that Obama will be elected by such a overwhelming landslide that, for the first time in 8 years, all the cheating, lying and dirty tricks in the world won’t be enough,” is, I think, more realistic than Greenwald’s approach, which smacks of that tent revival, “now that you’ve come to Jesus you’ll never stray again” feeling.

    It’s a sad state we’re in, when an election has to be decided over which fear is greater–fear of reality or fear of bogeymen, the terrorists or the terror over McCain letting us lose our jobs and homes. One of the reasons I cringe a little over the hope and change rhetoric is my worry that, the *second* we’re comfortable again, the bogeymen will be reintroduced. Whoever our Newt Gingrich for 2009 is, will say, “You got your health insurance–but what insurance do we have against nuclear North Korea?” And suddenly the Republicans are swept back into Congress. That sort of thing.

    I worry so much about *image*. Because I think the point Greenwald misses isn’t that people are sick of being accused of Anti-American; they’re sick of a message that’s 8 years old, and would like to hear something new, and then that something new, even if it’s much, much better, will *still* get old. Why do we always need new fears?


    October 22, 2008 at 10:10 am

  2. I believe the time has come to correct some major deficiencies in our Constitution, to address the abuses heaped upon it by the Bush Administration.

    The damage done by the Bush administration, accomplished through deceit, demagoguery, and shear incompetence, has me so angry that I’m ready to stand up and face the nation to call for a Constitutional Amendment. Of course, my voice alone will not move a nation. And I don’t expect to alone impress anyone who could make this happen. But I suppose, I believe, that many people feel as I do – that the Imperial presidency has cost us and our nation too much in too many ways – and that many people will support a movement to bring new accountability to the Executive Branch of Government. So that’s my plan: to build enthusiasm from us, the American populace, to make the ground swell, until it is seen that we the people are serious and numerous, and want an amendment. As of this moment, I’m alone, but if the need for this is as deep as I believe it to be, once sparked, this rage will ignite and fuel itself, and a movement will be launched. If I have read our mood wrongly, or my solution seems wrong to others, the fire won’t light, but here is my call – please check out and send the link to my blog to other folks. My only goal for now is to light a fire for changing the Constitution.

    I have drafted a version of what might be Amendment 28 because I needed to articulate a vision, my vision, of how to address the Constitutional issues. So now that I have expressed my ideas, and I believe in them, I present this draft as a starting point, ground from which to push the conversation. Does this address the issues in the best possible way? I welcome the day it is out of my hands. For now we can talk about the best way to address the mind boggling arrogance of the Bush administration, and its many violations of the Constitution. And we can build support for some sort of change so that in the future, an Executive that is out-of-bounds can be checked.

    If you think this idea has found its time, tell others you think so, and tell them about this blog. If you want to do more, please organize a meeting to talk about building a movement. And write to me about your meeting. Put comments on my blog.

    Thanks, Stephen Alrich Marshall

    Stephen Alrich Marshall

    November 22, 2008 at 11:30 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: